Untied

A year ago the knot untied             Free to live our separate lives

Mixed messages daily                  Our souls still yearn                       Embers and ashes smolder and burn

No malice no hatred no ill will Though it still is a bitter pill  Memories create a tapestry        Of the life once shared by you and me.

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Flower Moon

A view from the end of the Cabrillo Beach pier.  The sea shimmering in the light of the May full moon.  

To B From Mom

I know that you are 29 years old, and need to spread your wings and fly away from this port town we call home.

I know you haven’t lived with me for a while now, but it doesn’t make my heart ache less. My heart walks outside of my body wherever you roam. 

I know the changes in our family these last two and a half years have been difficult for you, and I can’t seem to help your pain go away. 

I know I have to be strong when I hug you tomorrow and send you on your way, but I will still cry, as will you. 

I know that you are my first born. You are my pride and my frustration, my joy and my pain, my angel of light and of darkness. You are my comfort and my irritation, my babe, my little boy, now a grown man.

I know I had to let go of another kind of love two and a half years ago, and I know you have to make peace with that as well. 

I know I love you fiercely and will always be on your side – my love is unconditional. 

I know that there is a whole world for you to explore, and a whole self that you need to create. 

Good luck and Godspeed, my son.  Know that I love you and that the road home will always be tattooed on your heart.  

Women’s March On Los Angeles

This is what Democracy looks like…

The March meant different things to all who attended. I was part of the March. I didn’t go to protest against the outcome of the election or President Trump. I actually wasn’t “against” anything. I went to show my support – I am pro-equality, pro-diversity , pro-love and pro-peace. To me, the March was neither a riot nor a protest, it was simply a way for people to come together and peacefully congregate to support their individual cause. It was an exercise in Democracy and our right as Americans.

The Sea Is My Bliss

A gray and misty morning

Sky and horizon become one

Walking along the shore 

Solitary as an oyster 

The deep groan of a bouy

The muted crashing of the waves

A child of the water

At the sea I am alone 

But never lonely

Finally Becoming Me

Today is my last day in Nepal. I am not eloquent enough to find the words to match my feelings.

I will miss many things about this magical place. I will miss the chaos of the city, the beauty of the scenery,the depth of the culture. But the thing I will miss the most are the warm and welcoming people.

My life perception has been changed by the children in both the school and the orphanage I was privileged enough to serve. Friendships have been made and sealed by fun and laughter.

I reconciled past mistakes, patched up a scab that still hasn’t healed, and proved to myself that I really am strong and capable.

The world has become smaller and my mind has become broader because of this amazing experience. NAMASTE!

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

 

Gratitude

I have life…

I have shelter…

I have health…

I have a grateful heart.

  

Time

i thought, in my pain, that I had given you the best years of my life.

i realize, in my clarity, that i will give myself the best years of my life.

Sweet Summer Memories

At this time of year, not so long ago, I would have been up to my knees in dirt, in my garden that overlooked the sea. 

I would have been harvesting tomatoes, squash, cucumbers, bell peppers, herbs and berries.  

I would have been listening to the June bugs and bumble bees humming in the fig tree, and the sharp chirps of new born sparrows in the orange tree. 

I would have been smiling at the clever old squirrel stealing guavas, and at the mockingbirds having a pool party in the birdbath.  

 I would have been watching the butterflies flit and fly between the roses and Mexican sage, and the hummingbirds dance like fairies in the lavender.  

I would have been listening to the wind chimes tinkle and the palm trees rustle in the late afternoon breeze. 

Yes, at this time of year,  not so long ago, I would have been walking through my garden at night, sharing secrets with the moon and breathing in the intoxicating scent of night jasmine and orange blossoms.  

These sweet summer memories I will keep with me forever, harvested from my mind and locked away in the root cellar of my heart. 

The Dark Times

The dark of the moon
The dark time
Looking inward
Looking deep
Dark feelings
Dark dreams
Dark thoughts
Create a dark mandala in my mind….